Are you networking - or connection collecting?

It’s easy to get connections on LinkedIn or via networking. But what are they worth? James West, co-founder of ONLE, explains the endless value of nurturing a select group of connections versus the empty practice of being a connection collector.

A visitor to our network laughed at me once. I was showing him something on LinkedIn when he noticed how many connections I had.

“Look at that,” he said. “You run a networking business and I’ve got more connections than you!”

He was delighted. In his mind, he’d beaten the networking guy.

The irony of this bragging situation was that he’d asked me why he was getting so little engagement on his content, despite having so many contacts. I explained that yes, while he had far more connections than me, they clearly didn’t care for the things he was saying. Because he was lucky to get two likes on one of his posts.

The problem wasn’t the volume of connections. His problem was treating connections as numbers - not relationships. Rather than becoming proficient at speaking to people to deepen relationships and then reap the benefits, he was working under the misguided principle that the more people you’re connected to, the more people will see your content.

(If you want to know more about my experiment, read my blog, which shows why accepting every LinkedIn connection request wrecks engagement).

The conclusion of this painful story came when I showed him my content and the vastly superior engagement it received, as evidence of the quality-over-quantity dynamic.

And while this principle was specific to LinkedIn, connection collecting as a networking habit is equally pointless. I’ve watched countless people treating networking as though success comes from accumulating contacts. They’ll attend every event they can find, throw out business cards, connect with anyone who’ll accept a request and proudly tell you they’ve met hundreds of people this month. The pile of business cards and growth in LinkedIn connections, they will say, is evidence that they are building relationships.

“Good networking is not about the incredibly shallow layer of a person that you can see from their name and job title. And it’s often not even about the person standing directly in front of you.”

James West, ONLE Networking

I’d argue they’ve simply collected evidence that they turned up or clicked a button. Because when you dig deeper, you’ll find they’ve built almost nothing. The true evidence is not the volume of connections; it is the fact that connection collectors have very few true relationships and are the first ones to complain that they are putting in lots of effort, but not getting results while networking.

The opposite happens too.

We often meet people who scan the attendee list before the meeting begins, spot that their ideal client isn’t there and mentally checks out before they’ve even logged into Zoom or walked through the door: “I’ve seen who’s coming. There’s nobody for me.”

This mindset shows a fundamental misunderstanding of networking. Good networking is not about the incredibly shallow layer of a person that you can see from their name and job title. And it’s often not even about the person standing directly in front of you.

Every person you meet has a life you know nothing about. They have former colleagues, family members, neighbours, clients, suppliers, best mates, school friends and people they’ve worked alongside for twenty years. Your next customer could easily be within those circles.

The trouble is, you’ll miss ALL of those opportunities, forever, if you dismiss people the moment you speak to them.

The deeper your understanding of somebody becomes, the more likely they are to understand you too. That’s important because people don’t confidently recommend businesses they barely know. They recommend people they trust. People whose values they understand. People they can describe without having to think too hard.

That’s why I’d always rather have fifty people who genuinely ‘get’ what I do than five thousand people who’ve accepted a connection request.

It’s also why my LinkedIn strategy probably looks rather odd. I spend far more time commenting on other people’s posts than writing my own. I instigate conversations before accepting connection requests. And I always decline requests from people who clearly have no interest in ever speaking to me.

That probably means I’ll always have fewer connections than plenty of other people. And I’m absolutely fine with that. I’d much rather build a network of people who know and support me, and receive the same in return. Because each of those people can open hundreds of doors for me.

And this latter point is the key to reaching the volume that connection collectors crave. When you have a select group of people who champion you, they will naturally use their own network (typically 150 people according to Dunbar’s Number) to give you almost limitless reach.

Our free, on-demand webinar, How To Network Online, isn’t about scripts, sales tactics or gaming the algorithm. It’s a practical introduction to a more human way of networking, built on the same principles you’ve just read about.

Watch it whenever suits you, at your own pace, and grab a couple of our most popular networking resources for free too: